Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Democrat (Abortion) Dilemma—
Ask Mary Magdelene: Contraception is Not an Option

St. Mary MagdeleneOn the Feast of Mary Magdelene, one of the Church's most revered yet mysterious saints, comes the tale of the Democratic Party trying to make their pro-abortion position more palatable to average Americans. After finally realizing that Al Gore's and John Kerry's hard-core abortion stances made most conservative Christian voters' blood boil, the Dems are, according to Mike Dorning of the Chicago Tribune, "grappling with how to address abortion," not moving away "from the party's long-standing support of abortion rights," but perhaps, "accepting as a public policy goal the view that abortion is a moral tragedy to be avoided." And this leaves contraception the centerpiece of the party's compromise.

If Magdelene could be called the Church's patron saint of sexuality, the Dems sexual hero would no doubt be the promising but promiscuous William Jefferson Clinton.

Bill's classically confusing stance, that abortion should be "safe, legal and rare," contained just enough pseudo-kindness to persuade the required number of Republicans to abandon the weak pro-life candidacy of Bob Dole and George Bush Sr. to get elected. Still, Bill's political savvy was no match for his lust, and Clinton's presidential legacy will be one of a country boy version of King Solomon. In fact, it could be said that Mr. Clinton's life was a perfect embodiment of his contradictory abortion/sexual philosophy, for he proved always faithful to Hillary except when a safe, legal (if not rare) option of cheatin' was available.

John EdwardsWhich leads us to the question of whether the current crop of Democrats can pull the pro-choice wool over enough fencepost voters' eyes to steal the election in 2008. Of the Big Three, John Edwards seems the least likely. His "the next president will control whether a woman's freedom to chose ... will be made by her or by men sitting on the U.S. Supreme Court," coupled with his wife's recent voter rally intro, "he's pro-choice, not pro-choice usually or pro-choice reluctantly, but simply pro-choice," is decidedly old school when it comes to pro-death rhetoric, and that talk is wearing on Americans like their patience with the $400 haircuts Edwards uses to prolong his boyish looks and protect his receding hairline. Hillary's declaration, "Abortion in many ways represents a sad tragic choice to many many women" sounds better, but she blows it with her botched contraception rhetoric. Hillary ClintonClinton, a leader in the fight to make the aborting morning-after pill available to the public without a prescription, recently declared Republicans "don't just want to wage war on Choice, they want to wage a war on contraception. They are against family planning," is as scientifically ignorant as it is politically stupid. Although there are sadly still some conservative Christians caught in the web of the contraception deception, most of those who use it realize there is a completely effective natural method. While in some ways it is easy to see why Mr. Bill cheated on "Hill the Shrill," one can also see how his habitual adultery transformed the attention-seeking Hillary into another Hitler, devoid of compassion and viewing politics solely as a means to power. Ironically the only thing natural family planning (a position she now despises) demanded that contraception doesn't is a little self-control—something she truly wished her "just say yes" husband had once possessed.

Which brings us back to Obama. Barack too talks about abortion and contraception, but his tone is toned down, his rhetoric more reluctant. In fact, his shrewdness is proved in that he talks more about the process than the policy. "If the [abortion] argument is narrow," he tells his followers, "then oftentimes we lose. But if you ask even the most conservative person, do they want their daughters to have the same chances as men, most will say yes. We can win that argument," Obama confirms, showing he has the subtlety of an Antichrist, if the voters are foolish enough to give him the chance.

And what does the Democratic compromise have to do with Mary Magdelene? Well, Western scholars, including St. Gregory the Great and St. Jerome, have long held that Mary Magdelene is not only the woman that had seven devils cast out of her (Luke 8:1-3) and the one the Risen Christ appeared to near the tomb (John 20:1-18) but the "ex-prostitute" that washed Jesus' feet (Luke 7:36-50) as well as the Mary who was the sister of Martha and Lazarus. Meanwhile, the Eastern Catholics have long held that these were three different Marys. Since there is a lack of historic evidence to support the first theory, many modern Western theologians have come over to the Eastern point of view, although Rome has still not declared either version definitive. But to say this recent scholarship opens the door for fantasies like The Da Vinci Code's secret marriage of Christ and Mary Magdelene is as ludicrous as saying contraception should be the Christian's compromise between abstinence and abortion. Just as Dan Brown's so-called compassionate sex (which included his cult leaders putting on masks and having intercourse in front of Christ and Mary Magdelene's "true" followers, followed by a group orgy) was far scarier than anything the "primitive, woman-hating" Catholic Church ever offered, the contraceptive mentality is just another self-serving, pleasure-seeking philosophy that leads to the destruction of both the babies' bodies AND their parents' souls.

While Jeanette (who took the Confirmation name Magdelene when she converted to Catholicism) and I favor the "total package" Mary, one thing is certain; this woman so completely repented from her sins that she was favored to be the first person to see Jesus after His Resurrection. Let us then pray to our saint of sexual reform for a strong pro-life Republican candidate who can defeat the Democrats in 2008, for unless the Lord chooses to cast out the seven demons possessed by the deceived leaders of the Donkey Party, it is now doubtful they would recognize Our Lord even if He appeared to them and called them by their name.

2 comments :

Kathleen said...

Mr. O'Toole,

Please note I use formal address when I am irked with what you write (just an FYI). You put Mary Magdalen in the SAME article, even paragraph as a Clinton? She (Mary) deserves better treatment - she is the hope of the hopeless, the first (and a woman no less - according to the ever oppressing white male dominated Catholic Church) to see the resurrected Christ, and a fearless
follower of Jesus (no matter what the cost might be). She is the epitomy of a tough, class act woman who has her priorities right where they need to be ... at
the foot of the cross and an open tomb, all with absolute faith.
While my beloved spouse reminds me that all may repent and enter into Heaven it is very hard for me, no perfect Chirstian by a long shot, to see such a woman
of true dignity named with a woman with such devotion to death. I know that no disrespect was meant but... oh, next time choose another! I LOVE Mary Magdalen!!
And as mad as Hillary makes me, I know that Mary LOVES her, maybe more than anyone (other than God).
OK, I will repent of any possible insinuation that Hillary is hopeless, as she is not - but, dang it, she keeps leading others into such a hatred for the unborn I keep forgetting to pray for her!!
Thanks for the website - God Bless, Kathleen

Tom O'Toole said...

Dear Mrs. McCusker - While I usually understand the impetus of your protests, I am completely baffled by your latest one. I said nothing positive about Hillary (comparing Hill the Shrill to Hitler certainly gains me nothing on the left OR right) and nothing negative about St. Mary Magdelene, whom I dearly love as well. In fact I sometimes wonder if there is not political correctness in those theologians who joined with Eastern thought (and opting against Jerome and Augustine) about dropping the ex-prostitute label from her. Perhaps I was sympathetic with Hillary to the degree that I partially blamed her husband's indiscretions for her current hardness of heart. But no one else has read anything in(to) my article other than my belief that St. Mary Magdalene is the complete opposite of Hillary Clinton. Hopefully this makes the article's secondary point, that of Mary converted, so could (even) Hillary all the more pertinent. And, in order to make that last point, don't the two opposites have to be in the same article? Anyway, I tried my best.

God's grace & Mary's prayers,
Tom