As discouraging as reading the news from the Windy City's leading newspaper often gets, the Tribune at least periodically rewards the patient, as it did today, with syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker's gem “Nature-nurturer: Survival of the Stupidest.” In fact, this satire's so good it could have been written by Fighting Irish Thomas, or more precisely, my wife, Mrs. Fighting Irish Thomas—“Ms. FIT” for short.
Parker starts her column off with dark humor, "Did you hear the one about the woman who aborted her kid so she could save the planet?" and proceeds to tell the tale of one Toni Vernelli, who did just that. Quoting a London Daily Mail story on environmentalists "who take their carbon footprint very, very seriously," Vernelli, 27, not only aborted her baby, but then had herself sterilized, later saying that baby-making is selfish, and is "all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet." Of course, since her and husband Ed not only did abort, but are also vegans, they figured they saved enough energy to still take their once-a-year transcontinental airplane trip ...
"The Darwin Awards folks," says Parker, when talking about the Vernellis, "who honor those who improve the species by accidentally removing themselves from it, will have to create a new category, 'People too Narcissistic to Procreate.'"
But if Kathleen's tone is silly, she is quick to point out that both the subjects' (another similar couple is interviewed) and the Daily Mail columnist's tone are deadly serious. FIT has previously warned about how the global warming people are not only making their beliefs into a religion, but seem to be on the verge of using it to rid their earth of undesirable "carbon users," and Parker apparently has also stumbled on this "inconvenient truth."
"Suddenly the unborn are of no greater importance than the contents of our recycling bin. Like Weight Watchers dieters substituting carbs for sugars, we trade off future members of the human race to neutralize insults to Earth's balance in the present ... Wouldn't it be helpful to eliminate some of the less productive members of society who, like the cows they no doubt eat, are emitting hazardous methane, one of the greenhouse gases that contribute to global warming? ... Is this the slippery slope that pro-lifers prophesied?"
Yes, Kathleen, it is. Welcome to FIT, and glad to see you've joined the fight!